You question whether he was ever your friend which implies many things that really make me quite concerned. Sounds like you were friendly for quite some time, and your statement that you think he was never your friend implies that he always had ulterior motives with you.. don't you think that you'd have gotten that impression prior to your breakup with your bf?

Also that you lump "men" as a group into this mentality that "they" pretend to be your friend until they figure out you don't want sex. it really is kind of stereotyping that men or the majority of them all just see women or want companionship with women only for the sex. I'd say I'm insulted by this being a male but I'm not, I just know that's not the case. Be careful fof making sweeping conclusions about whole groups of people. This is NOT in any way denying that there are men (and likely women) that have sexual one track minds. just not all or even the majority.

To answer your question, yes, men and women can be friends but judge each person by their own merits and don't write them off because the belong to a certain group or gender, you'll likely miss out on chances for some really good friendships if you do.

As for the guy, rather than questioning whether he ever had ulterior motives, just look at it this way, things and people change. A person once not interested in anything but friendship at one point may later change, which could be the case. Could he have been interested already? Sure, but likely you would have picked up on that attraction a long time ago. it's not something easy to hide even if you don't act on it.

Going forward, if his behavior is unacceptable, I'd cut off the friendship and communication as you've already made it clear that you're not interested in more. NO reason for you to keep putting yourself in an uncomfortable position with this guy. There are good people, male and female out there that will be more respectful to your wishes.