I can only imagine how tough this must be. I'm so sorry for that and I'm praying for you . I think it's great that you are also taking some steps to reach out so you feel supported. I know that you aren't the only couple experiencing this so I hope you can find that support. I think psych central is great for that.

I'm sorry but I don't have much advice to offer. I suffer from Cptsd from childhood trauma, and I've only just begun to understand it's effects on my life. All I can do is share what resources I've used that have really helped me. If you decide to use them I hope they can be of some help.

This site has really helpful information for understanding Cptsd/ptsd:
Healing Complex Trauma & PTSD

I also appreciate Pete Walker's site and his book Surviving to Thriving really provides a lot of education and guidance about the recovery journey from Cptsd.
Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy