Thanks. Yes, I think she was partly in denial or didnīt want to see what was coming, the abrupt termination that is. She once said to me "youīre a very fine person", (not talking about my appearance) and in those moments I think she genuinely felt something for me/she cared for me.
I think she in a way longs to take care of somebody and that her grief about not being able to become a mother isnīt fully processed. Itīs not that I suddenly defend her in all this, not at all, but as Iīm used to look at things from many angles I think this plays at least a little part in all this.
Also - why telling me about such a loss and grief? She told me in the beginning of therapy and even if I think itīs positive if the T shares something about herself this was perhaps too private.
What I also get back to is the fact that she didnīt only exceed the number of sessions but she also encouraged me in many ways to believe we were going to continue. It seems she tried to convince herself that her breach wasnīt that serious by saying things like "20 sessions arenīt that much, itīs just a day if you see it that way". She wanted the whole situation to be otherwise I think.
But then, since the ending was a fact I canīt feel she cares anymore, she offered me those phone sessions, sure, but then what?
I appreciate you saying I'm real to all of you, that warms my heart.
Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
Don't know if this will help with an understanding, but your observations above suggest to me that the therapist is living partially in a "fantasy world", in touch more with her hopes and wishes with regard to practicing "therapy" and not so much with reality.
In that world, then, it's like you were more a fantasy object than a real person -- someone to care for. But the caring was within the fantasy world, not objective concern for you as an independent, real person, with your own real life and everyday concerns, apart from the therapist.
Super sucks. And -- even though it's only digital and virtual -- you are real to a bunch of us here.  |