I was just thinking how often people don't take responsibility for their mistakes or minimize them. Very direct shifting blame is not as common as implicit defensiveness, avoidance, or the kind of non-apology when someone says things like "I am sorry you are hurt by this". Or unwillingness to examine/discuss own reactions and acts. Very often people just stop engaging when it becomes uncomfortable for them, something clashes with what they believe/want for themselves, rationalize that decision, and then withdraw. The latter can sometimes be healthy self protection but also often driven by denial, IMO.

On the caring/not caring topic - IMO this is quite abstract and vague when it comes to therapy. Usually, when I say that a professional cares (or the way I want them to care) is about doing a job competently, in a timely fashion, and with consideration of the many factors involved. I don't mean caring like a parent would for a child, friends for each-other, or even a mentor for their closely supervised students. I do believe that most Ts want to care about their work in this sense, but many things can get in the way, including mistakes, lack of competency, or their own issues. I do not believe that most Ts care for their clients in a loving manner that they feel/use in personal life. I think most professionals in any field can let go of those in their previous "care", if nit, that is more a problem IMO. I believe that pretty much every human being prioritizes their own interests over others' in general, even if it manifests as a desire to help others. It does happen though that, if someone made a mistake that could not be resolved, they will ruminate on it for quite a while without saying it. I agree with others though that knowing whether she does that or not would not change much in your situation.

I also agree with heretoday about the fantasy world. I think the whole of therapy is very much a gigantic fantasy world, in many ways. Quite little of it is realistic, IMO.