This just isn't an experience I've had in therapy. I do think much of the concern about it stems from transference. OP, what you're describing just sounds like a really incompetent therapist who's not engaged. But generally, the doubts about the authenticity of the relationship I think clients bring to the therapy from experiences in the past. It would be interesting to think about why the default isn't to expect authenticity. Maybe people who would bring such an expectation are less likely to be therapy clients.