- They're in my head.

Anyway, that doesn't matter for the time being.

So as my occipital region was hurting like hell, I visited a doctor other than my regular one. He told me I am smart. And guess what? Certain types of events happened that will make me do the following

1) Go to morning walks on my own every morning
2) Eat fruits
3) Avoid oily food and food that'd increase my obesity.
4) Get over medicine. It's just a job, dude. Job security and passion are all nice, but no means no.
5) Study for the university examination really hard.
6) After all this, learn to ride motorcycles and buy myself a good one. Planning to buy either a Honda or the most selling one in my country. The most selling one is good but it's 97.3cc and pretty small for someone like me. The Honda is good but I am afraid to ride a larger motorcycle due to the fear I'll fk up. Remind me to exercise.

I am getting back my life.

Yes, I know, if you know me here, you know I am always swinging between moods and life perspectives. But hey, it's mental illness. HOWEVER that doesn't give me license to be an unemployed citizen. I am supposed to work my butt off and do something. It's hard, yes, but worth it. I am scared, yes, but if I don't anything, nothing will happen and it'll get worse. And then again, I don't have to be some sort of hero to lead happy life. I'll just do what I can, desk job. It hurts, yes, to know I can never have the letters MD after my name, but hey, it's life, you can't always get what you want. Yes, I can lead a normal life. I just need to improve myself and it'll all get better.


The doctor told me I can be off meds once I make lifestyle changes for long enough. Every. Single. Med. Not sure that I like the concept at the moment but yes it's hopefully a good idea.