It's unfortunate that you can't cry for fear of upsetting your family. Everyone needs to cry sometimes to let off tension and express their feelings. It's actually really good for you. If you cry regularly, it's less likely you'll be constantly on the verge of crying. Think of it like a dam that you need to drain every now and then so it's not always at risk of overflowing without your control. If you're able to take time out alone to have a cry and honour those feelings, I think that will help.