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Old Oct 24, 2018, 02:08 PM
s4ndm4n2006's Avatar
s4ndm4n2006 s4ndm4n2006 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
Quote:
Originally Posted by xiximmxi View Post
I am experiencing the same.

The funny thing is, it makes me feel like it's my fault that I didn't develop any romantic feelings for them and that I'm not good enough for them to want to be my friend if it's not as their girlfriend. And I get sad that I'm losing people who would've otherwise been great buddies.

What's the difference between a friend and a gf/bf anyway? Besides being physical.
I want to really connect with someone, on a spiritual level. I think that should come first before sex.

don't burden yourself with the guilt that you didn't develop feelings for these guys. I mean you're not ever obligated to develop certain feelings for anyone and you have every right to deal with the relationship / friendship in the way that you feel is right.

This is all on the immature males that you've been involved with as friends that seemingly have a very one track and limited view of women. To me, this is a statement toward the types of males they are - of which, unfortunately, yes, there are many.

The kicker here is that I would say you should pursue friendships not based on gender but quality of the person and the relationship. Forget whether or not males can be your friends or not. There will always be males that want more than that and if that's the case, move on.

I am not one to stereotype but being a male and of course having known many and knowing the conversations that they have between friends, there is credence to the idea that males are one track minded. I can understand why some women, well maybe many, feel you can't be friends with a male, as a woman because there are a lot of immature males out there. Just be careful about writing us all off due to this fact.

In my experience, women are bossy, controlling and manipulative, that is to say that nearly, if not all, of the women I've been involved with romantically have been that way. I have to battle this kind of thinking and know that even if all the women I knew were like that it's a small fraction of the whole and maybe just maybe, I've been extremely unlucky. I hold out for one that's not this way - and honestly I do know that they are out there too.

I guess in summary, I reiterate don't write off males, but go into these friendships knowing that this risk does exist.
Hugs from:
xiximmxi
Thanks for this!
Ella68