I could have written your post, Bats. I show up every week, and my T asks me what I want to talk about, and I shrug my shoulders and say "I don't know". And then he lectures me for an hour on everything I'm doing wrong with my life. I don't know that I'm getting a lot out of therapy, but there's no way I can give it up. I get that we have to bring a certain amount of effort and put in some work, but after 20 years I just feel defeated and done. I feel like just having the commitment of going keeps me alive and going. Because otherwise I just don't care about my life that much anymore.