Maybe you weren't begging. You were asking for you felt you needed in that moment.
He could have said no. But he didn't.
I have a lot of Shame around asking for things.
Pur that together with having to ask a "professional" it doubles it. But that's just my head feeling me is some how wrong. I shouldn't have to need anything from anyone.
It makes asking people in my personal life a, whole lot easier because of having asked for things in therapy.