Quote:
Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66
This is going to sound rather harsh but I want you to remember, these are invitations. You are welcome then to eat at their places. Try to look at it this way: as hosts that have invited you over for the night they actually have an obligation to feed you. Now, you don't have to eat everything put in front of you. You might choose instead to nibble. This way you are still showing respect. Incidentally, in my opinion, the fact that they have repeatedly made the offers to you indicates they are sincere. I have used the term respect - as they should respect your own decision, realise that they ought to be shown some respect in return. What I am saying is that they actually might be having their feelings hurt. To be honest, if I were to entertain someone and they appeared to turn their noses up at my offer of food, I would feel more than a little hurt and put off - even more so if they brought their own food. What kind of message might you thus inadvertently be sending?
I realise this is a difficulty for you but I suggest you try to look at this from the others' points of view.
A solution to these situations is to get involved. Offer to help make the meal. Could doing so be a way then of easing your anxiety about consuming it?
Finally, I am wondering about your relationship with food in general. Has something in your past spurred this worry about consuming other people's food? Is there a reason you tell yourself you are not allowed to? I think this would be an excellent point to bring up with a therapist.
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I understand where you are coming from. I have helped meals before upon request, I am just not the kind of person to barge into other people's fridge without their permission. Basically, if they offer to have me over for dinner to eat, I have no problem eating a little. I've done that many times. And I have even helped prepare a few meals as well which I don't mind doing either. The part where I didn't eat at all or once brought my own food was early in the morning. I would be the only person up since I am an early riser and everyone else wakes up late, usually less than a half hour before everyone leaves to go to church so there would be no time for them to make breakfast. I am not comfortable just opening up their fridge or cabinets and taking whatever food I feel like taking from them. That's why I just don't eat, if they didn't make breakfast then I feel like I should either not eat at all or having something I brought myself. I only brought my own food one time. The rest I just simply didn't eat at all. I see that you would feel offended, but some people I know would actually secretly be thankful that I didn't take anything.
I actually know people who extend offers but secretly hope their offer is declined. And yeah, like I mentioned before, I was basically taught to never eat or at least, not eat a lot, of other people's food. Even from other relatives. I also mentioned in a previous post that there has been a couple times where my parents did the same thing to guests, offered them to help themselves and even though most of them didn't, those who did, my parents secretly got annoyed about it. So that's why I don't like taking chances. I was taught that even if someone says I could have just taken something out of their fridge, they could secretly be glad I waited to gain permission from them. But I can see where you're coming from though. Some people may feel offended, but others would secretly be glad, and not just about food. I know some people that offers to do things for others but when they accept her offer, they secretly get annoyed. Basically you just never know so I just like to play it safe and wait until I am actually offered food.