I feel SO alone. I have struggled all of my life with having a mental illness in the workplace. I tend to keep on ending up in a place where others are angry with me and I don't see it coming. Unfortunately, my boss has no idea about mental illness. How can I not hate myself, when it is clear that sooner or later will come to the same conclusion about me. I need to keep bringing in money, and yet doing so is killing me slowly and painfully. I am looking for jobs elsewhere. I try to hide myself from everyone else but I can't keep doing this. This also makes me feel a little bit of paranoia. I am so despondent about all of this. I am so devastated about being me. Especially because being consistent at work isn't something, apparently, that I can do. The bosses mischaracterize the motivations of my behavior. I really need my T now, but he's still on vacation and doesn't always have internet. This is my sad life. I want to be able to help other people yet I can't even help myself to stay consistent. At what point can I just give up? I feel so misunderstood, even by myself. At times, I just can't interact with people and I'm stuck inside of me with all of my emotions that nobody knows about.