I thought if I went
To local college there
Was more chance
History would repeat itself
And I would quit
To work or there was
More of a chance
Someone would find
Out about me being
In the hospital rehab.
When I was out
With Fred one night
A man who went to
My old sports club
Shouted your a slut
In my ear on his
Way to the bar and
It was laced with
Vehemence, he meant
To put me down.
And as I cleared it
Up before the guy
Lied about me on
The sofa and I had
Only slept with one
Person before Fred.
So this also made
Me adament that I
Needed a fresh start
Somewhere else away
From small minded gossip.
I did not see much
Hope mending old
Ties with acquaintances
That used to be friends.
If I spread my wings
I could escape the
Ghosts of my past.
But I know that
You can't fool everyone
And if someone
Eyed me with suspicion
I would have to keep
Moving and I would
One day look in
The mirror and see
This lonely bedraggled
Person looking back.
Each relationship falling
Flat when I revealed,
The reasons why
I was drifting.
And freedom would
Turn to depair and loneliness.