I'm not trying to tell you what's painful and why, but the most painful parts of therapy for me have been when the relationship "dynamics" (for lack of a better work, but what you mean by your need v. his need or a lack of "human relationship") in fact turn out to model painful relationship dynamics in previous relationships.

Therapy has often been very symbolic to me, and what pings for me in what you are saying is something that runs deeper. That it is the boundaries of relationships outside the therapy room that are painful to confront; the nature of the T relationship represents how many relationships, past and present, have limits on what others can be to us or what we can be fore them. That my marriage had boundaries and my spouse had limits that didn't entirely work for me, and the 4 corners of the T relationship allowed me to recognize how painful restrictions on relationships, whether chosen (such as encouraging my teen to be more independent from me) or enforced by circumstances (such as being attracted to someone while married or who is married) or because the person can't really give me what I need as a friend or lover or spouse, as their emotional or ways of connecting aren't intense or otherwise enough for me.