Sending lots of empathy, Echoes. I could have written your post too. Down to the seeing my current therapist to deal with painful feelings towards my previous therapist, feeling intense shame about wanting love and care from my T, and my young self not feeling satisfied with the outward success, confidence, and competence my adult self enjoys.

Being a therapist also can make it ten times harder. Like I know too much for my own good sometimes and struggle to settle in to fully being the patient. And like the stakes are higher. I don't know if this is true for you, but right now it feels like I need to resolve this with my T to continue trusting that the entire profession isn't f*****. I know that's too much to put on her (and on me), but **** if I can bring reason to bear when I'm awash in feeling.

I agree that it's good that your T was able to witness the feelings. It puts it all out there for exploration, understanding, and hopefully healing (I'm hoping this for you and for myself). From what I've read about your relationship with your T, it seems very much within his capacity to work through this with you, even if it takes him awhile to get there. Wishing you continued courage and hope.