Hi Scarlett,

I agree with everyone else here. I used to have a "best friend" a long time ago (in high school) who was actually rather abusive (emotionally, verbally and physically at times). When we first met, I was overjoyed because I hadn't had a friend in such a long time. I was ecstatic. We shared a lot of similar problems. She had issues with her family and was experiencing turbulent emotions. Just like me. I felt like we were soul mates or something.

We would talk to each other about things we were going through and try to get each other to quit unhealthy habits. She had other friends too, but all I had was her. I was an outcast. We hung out together all the time, and I thought that it couldn't get any better than this.

But then she changed up on me. Looking back, it's kinda funny because she practically threw red flags at me. She told me how friends kept leaving her, saying how she was manipulative and abusive. I ignored all of that because there was just no way. She was perfect. She was just like me.

Except she wasn't. She began to show her true colors: cursing at me, putting me down in front of her other so-called friends, physically hurting me, and then claiming she couldn't understand why I was upset about her actions. I would constantly tell her that I didn't like how she was treating me, but she made me believe that I was just overly sensitive. I mean, I kinda am, but that still didn't justify her behavior. She had me feeling like I was crazy. One day she was happy and normal. The next she would be downright depressed and mean. According to her mother, she was bipolar, but I wasn't sure how much of that to believe since her mother was messed up like mine was.

Like you, I hate conflict. So, I couldn't bring myself to stand up to her and tell her I didn't want to be friends anymore. I was scared. In addition to that, she was the only friend I had and I didn't want to be alone so I put up with her abuse for two more years before I finally couldn't take it anymore. I never did have the courage to tell her that I didn't want her in my life anymore, but I did what I did best back then: I ran away. I stopped taking her calls and texts. I ducked out on her. I dropped off the face of the earth.

I felt guilty at first for doing this, but then it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. From time to time, I would miss the good times we had. And even today, I still I still look back on those times with nostalgia (the good times that is). But I would never want to be friends with her ever again.

You'll feel guilty. And it might even hurt. But trust me. You'll be doing the right thing. Don't keep toxic people in your life. They'll just mess you up in the long run. To this day, I still can't believe I put up with an abusive friendship just because I was lonely and desperate to have a friend again.

I hope you find someone better. I truly do.