Echos, hugs to you.

My experience is that it will go better over time. The child part felt safe enough to come out and express her true feelings. Sure, the painful thing is that those feelings just can't be soothed away because they obviously come from somewhere much earlier and deeper than this particular relationship with this particular T. The good part is that these feelings are allowed and welcome in this relationship.

While in your current situation you might rightly ask why that would be useful because that means just more and prolonged pain. I don't know how it works on a technical level but I have the experience that over time the child calms down. Although this relationship has its boundaries, it still can satisfy some of those needs - you are allowed and welcomed to come out and express yourself whatever you feel in that moment, your T fully focuses your attention to you during this time, thinks with you, feels with you. It's impossible that when he's doing those things for you that you wouldn't be important to him. As for love, I strongly believe that the love is there and it speaks in actions. Words can lie and they can be misinterpreted but it's much harder to lie with actions.

Speaking of actions, I know that my T would have never given me extra 15 minutes - this is just not the way he operates. On the other hand my sessions are every day from Mon to Thu and so the whole setting is different. As I understood that much of the shame stemmed from begging and getting this 15 minutes, maybe it would be worth to explore a bit more the meanings behind this sequence of actions. Just in case: I'm not passing judgement, just that it could hide relevant meanings.