(((Hon))) you are not a monster...I know, because I have had these very thoughts n feelings you describe. If you were a monster, you wouldn't care, feel the way yo are n you certainly wouldn't be sharing this with us. Your hugely brave n so, hard as I know it is, please remember this n get the support that you deserve.

I've suffer from OCD, anxiety n mild depression...I'd no idea why I was going through n experiencing what I have, a skilled professional will help. Please pm and talk with me anytime, about anything, if you would like to. Please, let us know how your doing. Stay strong/brave, ok?