your values matching your mate's are very important. If you have been with this person for as many years as you have and she does not feel the same as you do about the value of family then I'd say that she's probably not a good fit for a continued relationship. No there likely isn't anything that's going to convince her to change this and really you shouldn't. Making someone else comply with your set of values is never a good thing. Finding someone that shares your values is.