Thanks for the reflection on this,
So just to update - I have effectively told her - without telling her. At least she could guess as to why I am the way I am with her... but I haven't put any pressure on stuff - I got emotional weirdly but didn't let too much come out! She was very warm and affectionate and made me feel better. I think I do need to be patient - particularly give her space !
We've been dating for about 2 months - and I'm even more crazy about her than ever.
I think partly her 'guard and space she requires hits my strong intense emotions hard- in a way her deflection of things I say to her are a rejection to me and I need to understand she's a complicated person.
I appreciate all the comments and insight! I'm hoping I can find that one thing that just helps me flick the switch in my head that can turn off the anxiety and nervousness - in it's extremes it's bringing out emotions that have never been familiar to me - paranoia particularly. But I understand keeping a level head is important, particularly how she perceives me. If it is/could be love then hopefully I can find focus to be who she needs me to be for her.
I just didn't think I could ever ever feel like this and I'm definitely out of my comfort zone at times!
Thanks again for taking the team to read and reply!