When I am talking, I stare at the bookcase.
When he is talking, I stare into his eyes.
When there is silence, I typically look at the bookcase, his shoe, or lately, I have taken to getting up and going over to the window to look out.
When I am in a dissociative-type state (which happens at some point during every session nowadays), he will constantly say, "Stay with me. Look at me," and point to his eyes. I try, but unconsciously, I find myself looking away again and again. He will then call me back to look into his eyes.
I try to look at him as much as possible because his expressions and non-verbals tell me a lot. Plus, it's a beautiful thing to hold eye contact with someone in an intense moment of understanding, so I don't want to miss out on that.
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