Do you have access to a partial hospitalization program or intensive outpatient program? If I were to get pregnant again I would go to there for the duration of the pregnancy and try med free.

I had my son before I started meds. I didn't do well after his birth. I was to afraid to tell anyone. I stayed in a horrible mixed psychotic episode for months. So my suggestion is to get as intensive care you can and if all else fails take meds.