Frag (may I call you that?)
I'm sorry things are so hard right now and that you've not been getting a lot of posts. Hang in there.... it takes time (all of it takes time).
I share a lot of what you wrote; fighting the "bad girl", the flashbacks (mine used to be really bad, but thankfully things have settled for a long while giving me time to catch up)... I also do not know who the "Real me" is - we have taken the name Kiya for all. There is a part Kiya, who is not often around alone. But this works, since all hate the body name.
I hope you are doing better a little today. =(
oh my dad told me the same thing - he didn't want any children, ever. yeah, great dad - but worse that my mom didn't believe him and pushed him into it.
Feel free to PM me any time... hope you get more comfortable with the boards soon
Kiya