I get called ‘high functioning’ a lot too if people know about my diagnosis. I think that they mean that I don’t ‘look’ MI, because I sure as heck don’t think that I function as well as a ‘normal’ person. I have been on disability since 2011. I have done some (very) part-time voluntary work for some of that time, and failed to complete a part-time MSc. I was also sectioned for 18 months, which thankfully ended just over a year ago. I struggle to look after myself - that poll about the longest time you’ve gone without bathing, where 5 days was the worst answer, made me laugh and laugh! My flat is a mess. I struggle to read, to eat and drink properly, have no friends, and hate to leave the house (though I do try to force myself most days).

So why am I called ‘high functioning’ then? Because I always look presentable. I understand what styles suit me and what colours go together, and I can accessorise. Because I wear a hat, I must be doing well seems to be the logic! Lol It doesn’t matter if the hat is to hide my greasy hair, or that I wear the same clothes for days because the outfit looks presentable. But I don’t change my outfit because the effort involved in putting together a new one is too great. I am a very reserved person and so you won’t see me distressed because I only do that in private. Etc.

I guess my point is that I think that ‘high functioning’ is a completely BS term. We shouldn’t be ranking suffering - ‘you don’t look MI, therefore everything is great in your life’. I’ve had Drs and even people at so-called support groups call me a liar because I didn’t fit their stereotype of someone with my experiences/diagnosis. So I think the whole thing is BS really.

I do worry about losing my disability and being seen as a fraud because no one can see inside my head, and so I do hide that information from people. But I always come back to that quote about being kind because everyone is fighting an unknown battle, whether they ‘look MI’ or not.



*Willow*