There is one good advice I received from a professional counselor yesterday, when I told her that I was bothered by how an emotionally-abusive person (whom I sometimes have no choice but to bump into/ relationships can be delicate when you want to keep the family peace) gave me an evil eye the other day.

Me: "She seems angry because I haven't been giving her attention."

Counselor: "Can you try not looking at her?"

Me: "I need to see where she is so I know to avoid her and go the other way. I don't want her sneaking up on me."

Counselor: "I mean look at her from the head down. Avoid looking at her eyes."

I feel like not making an eye contact with an abusive person is a good advice. I saw her the other day targetting someone else. She gives people no personal space, stand really close to them and stare into their eyes...and I thought, "Wow, she used to do that to me!"

I thought about how abusers use body language--especially the eyes--to control, manipulate, isolate, and distract you from analyzing if their words are sincere. When someone is looking at you so intensely, you feel pressured and give in to their demands.

One thing I forgot to ask the counselor is...when I am forced to greet her briefly, where do I look without appearing unnatrual? Her ears? I usually look at people's eyes when I greet them, so I am not sure how to go about this. Info.: She is about the same height, so I don't have the option of just looking straight to avoid looking at her eyes.