Rose makes a valid point here. My maternal grandmom did the 'traditional' thing and moved in with my maternal grandfather's parents. They lived on a farm so it makes sense that that's how it was. But, the greatest piece of advise that's she's ever openly expressed was to under no circumstances move in with inlaws. She described how difficult it was in childrearing. The elder female will tend to assert power/domination over the other. She said she didn't sleep a wink during the infant years of my mom and my uncle because it was imperative to keep noises down due to the "heart" condition of my great grandfather who was a WW1 veteran. I quote heart because with what is known about MH in 2018, it's more likely anxiety from ptsd. My great grandmother was critical of how she wanted to raise my mom and uncle- nothing too radical but I recall the what a mistake and how awful to have more than one child stories.

I'm thinking that maybe the gf sees through the traditions. And isn't just thinking about herself but also future children??

Is there any compromise to this? Can you live 'near enough' to your family so that you could still help be a caregiver in their future or current elderly years? But still live a life together with your gf that allows growth together as your own couple and as your own family?

Would it be too radical of an option where you live?