I know what you mean there. When I think about the fact that I'm more of a help yourself or you're welcome to have my food, I'm also reflective on what that does mean as this thread has taken on a life of its own-in a thought provoking way. Help yourself to something to drink-cups are 'there' and what's here is here. If my kids have friends over, it's up to them to know what's available for snacks or goodies if I've baked items which would be in the open. Obviously, I'd be surprised if slabs of meats or similar came out of my freezer and were cooked up- unless to cook for all? There's breads and cheeses and lunch meats and eggs and milk, yeah sure....

One thing that came to mind was how something along this topic came up when I was a teen and my dad was just beginning his relationship with my stepmom. She asked me if I would like a piece of some type of desert. I said sure. She said well it's over there go get it. It was such a discussion with myself my mom and gram after that. It was words matter. It wasn't that I was expected to get it myself but how it was said. In my maternal family, it's...there is a desert on the counter, plates are in this cabinet. If you'd like some, help yourself.