Kiya, I am so sorry you are stuck in the place where the abuse happened. That is very very traumatizing. I know as that is how I grew up and I did the same thing. I don't think I was ever "at home" in my mind until I got away from home. I said out of my body and just let my alters take it all. I did that in my 20's too because I did not know how to function much as me. Well basically I was usually not me my others did the socializing. I just went along for the ride but never remembered anything. I was absent, not at the helm.

I too was SA as a child and am only now remembering this in flashbacks and boy is it h*ll.

Is there no one, other family, you might be able to go stay with. Are you older than 18 that it is an option?

I feel so bad for you and wish I could get you out of that. It is not right you must remain in the same house with the abuser especially when it is your family.

Remember though you are a special person and worth all the gold in the world. And you are better than they are!!!

fragmented