Thanks. Thereīs a large difference between being "dumped" in real life and in therapy. An abrupt ending to therapy can never be justified unless something serious happens to the therapist or there are circumstances that leave no solution.
In my case an abrupt ending could have been avoided in several ways and because my therapist couldnīt handle the situation an abrupt ending canīt suddenly be "the best thing".
I canīt see how acceptance can be forced, at least I donīt function that way. If I now had the possibility to actually get to know to what extent my therapist cares about me, if she does, if she thinks about me and such I would have felt less "thrown out" if I knew she does care.
The longing is there regardless, even if I now feel she doesnīt care that much anymore I go back and think about her and our therapy and I just cry. Sometimes the grief gets complicated because I at the same time have thoughts like she has forgotten me or that she just keeps on with her life. If I knew she thinks of me and misses me I think my grief would be a bit different, perhaps a bit easier.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
I just wanted to go back to this thread to share some thoughts that came to me lately.
Sarah, you've said you'd feel better if you knew that your T cared about you (and may be still does). Are you sure about that? I mean, I do believe it'd make you feel better..temporarily..but then you'd continue being in pain because of the fact that you can't see her any more. Do you believe that knowing that she cared/cares would help you complete your grieving process sooner, make a closure and move on with your life? I doubt it for some reason.
I recall situations from my own life when I had to accept the fact of being "dumped" and I was confused about whether the other person cared about me at all or not, and I also felt that if I knew that for sure, if I knew that they cared, I'd be able to make a closure. Then, at some point, I thought about it deeply and realized that knowing that they cared would just make me want to seek their company again, because it'd seem so stupid that we both cared about each other and couldn't continue seeing each other. It'd make me want to keep reaching out to that person and to convince them that we should meet and work it out somehow. This would've kept me stuck much longer than the harsh reality I had to face and deal with.
I believe, there are times when harsh endings are the only way in which life can end situations that are not serving our highest good. And it is harshness that makes it clear to us that it's a done deal and forces us to accept that it is a done deal. And when we accept it and learn the right lessons, we transform and evolve, which is exactly why the harsh ending was needed in the first place.
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