My T seems afraid of eliciting this, as if he has been through it with many clients and dreads it in a worldweary way. He has a 3 foot rule ( no touching, no hugging, no hand shakes), a gaudy wedding photo out of place with the diplomas , etc.

The ironic thing is how intimate his speech can be- Tell me, trust me, stay with me, stay the course with me, I am right by your side, how do you feel about me?, how do you feel toward me now in this room? .

He seems hurt by the social cues he gives- bc of course I am going to "stay back(stop dog to her T)", scramble backwards to the distance of three feet emotionally. He doesn't want the distance there metaphorically- he says we have an exquisite connection . I don't feel that way. I struggle. The moments of meeting are real and profound, but they nourish the T and confuse the client. If I am able to have the moment of meeting, the blast of mutual connection and let it go, then that is my T's ideal. If I carry the moment out of the room and make real love out it, then my T will set boundaries- no more Christmas gifts, right out the door in 45 to 48 minutes. If I lean out, he will chase me. The real thing that some T's want, it intense intimacy in the hour, with no consequences outside the bracketed time.

Feeling dirty and wrong for wanting an extra 15 minutes and offering to buy it on the spot reflects that. The moments of meeting are only in the room. Once you leave the room? It seems the patient carries in with her, and the T changes gears?

I think in some ways, some T's are intimacy junkies. They call it moments of meeting . They need it. However, like all the little prince quotations, they are not responsible to the moments.