If I had known then what I know now I would have wanted bipolar meds at 15 years old, but fewer and smaller doses. Hopefully that would have prevented the tragedies in my life at 32/34 that continued for years and still affect me to a degree today.

I loved life up until about 31/32, despite having had some major episodes off and on in my youth, but being unmedicated for so long worsened the course of my illness.

There is no way I could live happily long without medications now. I know that. I would be a moron if I tried to quit meds again. It could be my death.