Sarah, thinking about this more... I personally understand how knowing that someone I broke up with due to things outside of my control (T or just an important person in my life) examines our relationship and re-evaluates their role can be helpful. I just recalled some stories like that from my life and it did help me move on to know it was somehow important for the other person as well. In part, not having a sense that my first T cared about my feedback was the main annoyance and reason that I kept obsessing about his wrongdoings. In my case I dumped him but it was not easy to accept the way it ended - not because I was attached to the T but because I felt so manipulated and subject to irresponsible treatment. The truth though is that there is no way to know what. T is really thinking, especially if they were not honest before.