I think I've been in a similar place to you. My therapist and I have talked a lot about me feeling needy, me bringing it up, not him. We've used the analogy about an empty gas tank. Sometimes I try to fill it up in therapy and sometimes it's just too empty to begin with and doesn't get filled. And it sucks. It feels like you're a big walking wound. I've said many, many times, even today, what's the ****ing point. So although our histories and situations are different, I feel like I understand a little what you're feeling.

About the doing it yourself part, is that something he told you? I'm not entirely sure that emptiness can be filled by yourself. We're social creatures. We're hard-wired to want care and protection from others.

I'm really sorry you're struggling with this. Hugs if you want them.