So... does anyone ever experience anxiety about things that should be “happy or exciting...”

I was literally GIVEN a car recently, which I needed, so I was relieved and excited, but the anticipation about waiting for the car to arrive/be ready for me to get, literally made me sick and debilitated. I could not function. And I could not express positive excitement.

I feel like happy things trigger me... because being happy and having something good or exciting just feels like dread... anticipating disappointment.

I am truly being robbed of joy. I am so frustrated with myself.

Also, in the moment, I knew I wasn’t feeling well, but I couldn’t regulate or talk to myself rationally. I was just overwhelmed with the sickness... it really fuels self hatred.