I'm not sure this is where you're at, but what has helped me let go of those who I feel have wronged me is to acknowledge both the positive and negative aspects of the relationship. I don't think your good memories have to be transformed into something else, you can forgive her or not-- my guiding principle has been whether I need to be a person who is forgiving this person right now or not. Understanding why the person did what they did and usually that has nothing to do with you, but if it does have something to do with you-- like your emotional response during a termination session-- forgiving yourself is probably more important. Or forgiving her for being unable to help you after this-- T or no T, some people can't or don't want or decide not to handle angry outbursts.

I love a number of people who I have little to nothing to do with, and I empathize with their struggles that left me feeling betrayed, and I do have fond memories and their gifts about the house. For me the goal has been to have events and people be like a page in the book of my life, something I don't have to obsess over and something I don't have to avoid. Just a page, turn to it or not.

But before I can get to that place, I do a lot of obsessing and wondering and discussing with my T and others who can listen. You have to hold something before you can let it go, by definition. So I think you are getting over ex-T, maybe you're even 80% there. Recognizing you've come a long way and perhaps being precise about where you want to end up is part of the process.