Brief background: I have anxiety since about ten years. It comes and goes. Sometimes it is caused by an external trigger, sometimes by a thought that comes into my head (usually a repetitive thought that I've had many times before), or an unpleasant emotion or body sensation that may be independent of any thoughts or experiences. I got the anxiety when I was in my late teens, probably triggered by the fact I was scared of becoming an adult. I was afraid of social situations, had a few phobias and had extreme physical sensations associated with this, which fuelled my fear of the anxiety itself and of social situations where people might notice. I also had really inhibiting mood swings - up, down, anxious, confused...


I got better after about three years, but soon after that I relapsed into a different kind of anxiety, due to reading some horrible abuse stories online. This turned into what I think is a kind of PTSD. I thought of the disturbing things I had read for about two years, most days, which really depressed and stressed me. I got better again, but I have got increasingly sensitive to negative things that happen in the world. Sometimes I have the thoughts about disturbing stories I have read about - old stories from some years ago and newer ones that I have read about more recently. It's like they all tack onto each other to create a stressful web. I can go some weeks where I hardly think about these things, and where I am emotionally relatively fine. I try to accept it as how I am. And that helps. I used to find it impossible to switch off the negative thoughts. I am better than I used to be, but am finding that when I do not have the negative thoughts, sometimes negative emotions come out instead and change a few times a day. I can go a day, a few days, or a few weeks with feeling relatively OK, so I am learning to accept as much as I can.


I know persistent negative thoughts and flashbacks are normal for anxiety and PTSD, and also emotions that are all over the place. But what I am wondering about, however, is whether other people have experienced what I would call silent, wordless speech. So when I am somewhat stressed, not necessary very stressed and not always thinking of anything in particular, I perceive a kind of chattering, mumbling speech or shouting in the background of my mind. I hear nothing, there are no thoughts, I hear no voices, but it is as thought there is an incessant chattering or shouting, occasionally silent crying if I am feeling down. I think it is just a way for my subconscious mind to process the fear / sadness / frustration / anger I am feeling, and am not particularly concerned. It doesn't really bother me, imagine it is probably just a personal quirk, but was interested if anybody experiences anything similar together with anxiety or any other disorder.