I would not fight your feelings. You said before quite confidently that you just need to have your answers and "closure" and then you will move on - clearly does not seem to be the case. I would not put that as a strong goal now as not meeting it might just lead to further frustration. When I got stuck in obsessing about the wrongdoings of my first T in the past (I never loved him though), I just found it had to run its course. The obsession lessened a lot when I truly understood why I saw him the way I did and why I was so stuck with the negative feelings (beyond his obvious and real flaws). I really only understood it in great depth and with great clarity recently, almost 2 years after ending formal therapy with him. I did not need another T to understand it and to get over the T, but I benefited a lot from reading posts here and just a lot of introspection. I really wanted the strong negative feelings to go away earlier many times but it was not as simple. They dissipated a great deal once I had some very clear realizations about the nature of the feelings and obsession, but I found it a process that I could not just rush at will. I think I also had to get to a much better place mentally for those feelings to go - not surprising because they were related to my own self-flagellation and dissatisfaction with myself due to things I could not easily and quickly fix.