Were your mother or others in your childhood punitive and condemning of sexuality and sexual impulses/acts? That would explain something like your issue better than sexual assault. It sounds like your problem is feeling guilt/shame about impulses that most people have and do not feel negatively about, or not this much. As for the childhood acts of touching and curiosity, that is also very common, many kids do that and grow into perfectly healthy adults. But you seem to have so much anxiety/shame over it. I would probably try to figure out why that is rather than trying to eliminate the thoughts and impulses, which might well be an impossible endeavor and forcing might just make it worse and induce more shame.