We planned to have my daughter around the time I was 27. The BP had hit, but I hadn't yet realized it was BP, just thought it was major depression with some wild shopping sprees, crazy sex (but it was with my husband and we were newlyweds).

I actually didn't want kids to start. Even in high school and stuff. But then that biological clock started ticking...I tapered off the meds with the doctor's help; well, other than birth control pills, you don't really need a taper on those. My cycles evened out (and I also realized the pill made my mood at least 10 times worse than without it (so I never went back on it). I did about a 6 month detox with a pdoc's help, namely, first getting me off the meds he & the OB felt were most dangerous for a fetus. I got pregnant the 2nd month trying, the first month with good timing though.

It was not easy. By the end, I was taking all sorts of herbal stuff, mostly for sleep. It's already hard to sleep 8 months pregnant, let alone when you have sleep issues. I was on Zoloft and Xanax from the OB by the end of the pregnancy, and he told me to get myself set up with a pdoc I could see by the time I was 6 weeks postpartum (all that before the baby even came). In retrospect, that was good advice, I wasn't on a huge waiting list, and I found a wonderful pdoc.

Even though my daughter is not (and never has been), easy to parent, I don't regret it. H & I planned it. She's so smart, and for all the trouble and anxiety she brings, she also brings joy, innocence, energy. It is amazing the things she can accomplish. She does have a lot of challenging sensory issues (I believe these may be inherited from me through my father, who if he isn't on the autism spectrum, I'd keel over in shock). Some of these issues she has overcome and others not, but we are lucky it is sensory processing disorder. She makes friends, plays with kids her age (though that took nearly the entire year of kindergarten to happen).

And though I do get disrespect and attitude what with puberty, there are also times when she is empathic, comforting, understanding, funny, well-behaved.

I wouldn't change it. We did try for a sibling and ended up with secondary infertility. It happens. Nothing wrong with either of us, no reason we couldn't have another child. But now I think God knew what He was doing when he gave us only one. He knew the one was all we could handle!

I do worry about my daughter inheriting BP or mental illness. My mom's side of the family it riddled with it. Some of my biggest triggers though are things my daughter has not and hopefully with not have to experience. My husband is a wonderful father to her; she will never doubt that what she doing is not good enough for him, the way I still doubt it with my own dad. She does have a bit of a quirky personality, but I am sure this is from H and hopes that means she did not inherit all my mental health tendencies.

As I said, my mom's family it full of MI issues. My mom herself probably has depression, anxiety and an eating disorder (binge eating). She gave birth to 3 girls, me, my middle, sister, and my youngest sister. I was the only one to end up with MI issues even though I know my middle sister took a look of verbal abuse from her first serious boyfriend in high school and college & that she had some other traumas as well. Both my sisters grew up with the same angry, disapproving Asperger's type father, though my middle sister let it roll off her back and he had improved somewhat be the time my parents were raising my youngest sister. So even his sucky fathering didn't affect us the same.

Don't know if I just got the wong genes, all the wrong life experiences, or what. I am often jealous my sisters do not have to deal with this.