Not want it but I expect it. I used to ask him often "Why are you so nice to me?" and I'd always expect some kind of punishment for saying or doing something "Wrong"

Recently I found myself in a "too familiar" situation with him, where I was talking rude to him like my family does to each other. He got upset with me, and it shocked me but my first thing was telling him that it felt like he hates me now.... he assured me that wasn't the case, we hugged still etc

Anyway we worked it out and it was weird to have someone actually not only call me out on something that upset/hurt them but to be forgiving and compassionate about it. I really needed that to happen and I now have a great sense of "Well he at least wont abandon me" because I know he will call me out and talk things through.

However, generally speaking, I still expect everyone else in my life to get angry and ignore me etc