I don't have an ex T but I struggled with expressing feelings and I recently, well a year ago now, lost my beloved dog and it was the worst thing of my life. My T was amazing during then and told me there is no "right way" to grieve, there is no time line

I tried going to a pet loss group and hated it, I joined some online pet loss groups and it was somewhat nice, T was my biggest support and I credit him for helping me deal with it.... BUT in my own way, outside of things with T... I just became very distant. I stopped talking to people as often, I got sucked into games on my phone, journaled a ton, wrote letters to my dog....I only cried once, with T, in all that time. I sometimes feel like I'm a terrible person for not crying more but crying isn't a requirement for grief.

Do you have a current T to work through this with? A close friend? Pastor? Online grief groups? Writing letters was hugely powerful and helpful, maybe that could help you?