i have been where you are. it can and does get better but it takes a lot of time. it took me two years and there were days where it was worse, too. here's what i can tell you that can help you. you have got to focus on something, anything. maybe to focus on something from your past that made you happy once... something that tastes delicious or a vacation in your past with a loved one. the more you think about this then the less room you are giving the depression and anxiety to breathe. if you let depression breathe and expand it will do so and consume you. fight for a space inside of you where you can find self worth try to keep the depression out of that place. you will see that the place will grow a little bit every week. if you can just hold on long enough you will beat the depression down to something that you can live with and put away. god bless you and good luck. know that you are not the first to face this and you wont be the last. if you live through it you can others. bye.