Quote:
Originally Posted by Soybeans
This is new to me, I made sure the T I chose was patient, kind, knowledgeable, etc., and I really needed the kindness and the empathy. But now that I'm getting really attached, and transference is happening all over the place, I want my T to hurt me now... Is this normal? Sometimes I wish my T would yell at me or hit me or lose his patience and snap that I'm being a baby or something, because that feels so much more familiar than having to try to interpret his kindness session after session. Do I need to talk about this with him?
|
Yes. Many, many times. I was thinking about this today, actually. It’s like the only way I’ll feel like I’m cared about is to be yelled at and hit.
But, my previous T and this T have been very good about being very stern with me and not letting me get out of control with my b.s., but making sure it’s not in an abusive or harmful way. I have gotten kinda “scolded” at times, if you will, but never in a way that’s made me feel like a bad person or like T hated me. I knew it was out of caring. And I knew it was because I absolutely needed it. Gentleness doesn’t go far with me, and the good Ts I’ve had have figured that out quickly.