"I want T to give me some direction and guidance. Is it OK to ask for that?"

Yes - of course! That would be what I would do first. You are still in control by saying to t - on I am choosing that you lead me in a direction for now because i am lost and need help. i will take over again when i am ready.

I think he would not want you to give over control to the male - that would not be good. you are you and need to come to terms with this male within - he is not you. He is a part of you (ego state or what ever) but if he actually takes control then that is no longer an ego state? like you said the DID has parts that take over....? unless you need to go that route for healing. i would say that if you relinquished control you can't be certain that YOU could come back. See?
Kiya