But people who know what's best for others are never in a vulnerable state (or, to be more accurate, they deny their vulnerabilities), or they'd tell you they hit the rock bottom many times, but that they were always able to pull their **** together, pick themselves up and dust themselves off because they are so self-sufficient, so mature and responsible, so awesome, so strong and independent. And, if you don't measure up to their standards you are just a whiny little baby who refuses to take responsibility for your own life and they always make sure that you know that.

I find it entertaining that such independent, "rational" and "strong" people have the need to hang out on forums like this one and seem to be so emotionally invested in convincing others to make personal choices that are consistent with their own views and attitudes and so agitated when people "don't listen" to them.

One thing is to have a debate on some psychology/psychotherapy topic, but telling someone how to handle their personal predicament and, not only that, but to pass a moral judgment on a person for handling it differently from how they would handle it is a completely different thing.

IMO, strong and independent people don't get so personally invested in other people's lives and don't get offended by the personal choices other people make, because they are actively engaged in their own lives and have a thousand of more important and exciting things to do than to keep convincing someone they don't even know to live their life differently.

When I see someone becoming so frustrated with the choices of the other person, especially when that person is someone they don't even know because they interact with them online only, I doubt that they are as strong and independent and rational as they are trying to present themselves to others. A rational person wouldn't waste time on someone who is clearly not interested in taking their advice. A rational person would ..well..get a life.

Clearly, the "strong" people here, who are "not victims" got triggered by the OPs stories. What got triggered in them, I suspect, is their own vulnerability they don't want to acknowledge and deal with.

I am not commenting on this issue any more. I needed to say what I've just said because I hate moralistic lecturing no matter how sugar coated it is and how much it is disguised as an intention to "help". I think, those who claim they want to " help" would benefit from some self-examination and from being honest with themselves about what REALLY makes them come to the OPs threads and comment.

I will not respond to any "rebuttals" to this.