I just emailed my T and spilled my guts...

I told him that I live in constant, daily fear that he's going to fire me, and because of that, I've basically been sabotaging therapy and doing nothing he tells me to because he's going to fire me anyway.

I have no rational reason to feel this way. He's never indicated he would fire me, and even gave me a second chance after I tried to commit suicide (he doesn't see suicidal clients).

Then I begged him not to fire me because I told him I'm afraid he's going to fire me.

I'm so scared.