This weekend I had 1-2 episodes or moments where I feel aroused in the pelvic area. I'm not emotionally turned on, thinking about or watching anything that would turn me on. I just get a feeling down there and it really bothers me because it reminds me of the sexual assaults from my husband. I'm not interested in havingnsex with anyone and the thought makes me cringe. I can't control it, I don't like it and it makes me feel vulnerable. I'm not really sure how to describe it nor I don't if that part is important. The few times it's happened this weekend I got so triggered that I self harmed in and around my genitals to basically get rid of that feeling and make it go away. I don't know how to talk to anyone about it. I feel so ashamed and uncomfortable about it. I had therapy today and the most I could say was that I had something happen this weekend that led me to self harm pretty severely. That's all I could muster up. I haven't even told my doctor about it or anyone for that matter. It hasn't happened in a few months until this weekend and I wish it could go away forever. I have thoughts and urges to cut there really badly so maybe I couldn't feel anything down there. What the hell is wrong with me.