I usually "white knuckle" it. By the time I see her things seem better (for like that day) and I forget to tell her how horrible I'm doing. So my meds stay the same and rescheduled for the next 3 months. I also have a crisis plan which EVERYONE thinks is way past the time I should be hospitalized but that's when I'd call my therapist. However I have no therapist now so I have no idea what I would do now.