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Originally Posted by unaluna
Sometimes it is the other person's right to be "wrong". Obviously their reaction or attitude is right for them. Unless they are your child living in your house, you cant really set the rules for them. I think this is the distinction your t is trying to make.
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Yes, of course, it is the other persons right to be 'wrong' or have their own reaction. I completely understand that. I would like to think that I am good at seeing things from others perspective! Should the other person be the person in therapy I would expect them to dissect their understanding or reasons for doing or reacting how they did but the fact is that they are not the person in therapy, I am?
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Its not about taking your side in this argument, or trying to prove the other person wrong, or change their mind. Its about, given that the other person has this attitude, how are you going to live with it?
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Yes, This! This is exactly part of my point! This was not discussed. The focus became all about the other person and why they did what they did? I'm not saying that at no point should we have talked about the possible reasoning behind their actions but that became the focus? I didn't entirely realise what was happening at the moment so didn't bring it up at the time. Shouldn't the focus though be more on my response? How I reacted? Why I reacted like I did? How I can improve this going forward? I have no control how they react and perhaps next time they won't even react the same. I can only control how I respond and react so surely focusing on that would be the most beneficial?