TRIGGER WARNING- Violence

(By the way, sorry if there's a bunch of run-on sentences in the text below, I tend to use incorrect grammar when I type about things like this.)

I just can't deal with one image anymore, I can't. I close my eyes and it's there, I see it in my sleep, wherever I look something reminds me of it. I can't talk about it to people in my life, I open my mouth but words don't come out... no matter how hard I try words just don't come out. I can't get it out of my head, I wish I had never made myself remember, I wish it had never happened so I'm going to write it here because I can write I just can't talk. I know this won't get it out forever but maybe it will bring a little peace to my day today because I feel like I'm going crazy inside with the image in my head.

I'm 4 and I'm sitting in the room and I watch my dad hang my baby brother from the ceiling with a noose. I'm 4 and I just watch it and I can't go away I'm not allowed he makes me just sit there and watch my baby brother hang there and he watches it to and he doesn't care at all he's enjoying watching it and wherever I look I see my brother hanging there and it won't go away he was so young he didn't deserve it and I wish I had never remembered now and I wish I could get it out but it won't go out of me and I feel like I'm going insane inside and I just want it to stop.

Thanks everyone for being here.